Aspie Sharing: Imposing view on others

octobertiger wrote: Well a couple of weeks ago, I made a post and you said that I was too intent on imposing my world view on others - and you were right. I never thanked you for that. Reply: I guess depends on the person. I usually prefer people to impose their view on me if they think what I think is not completely true. Because that can expand my mind. Sometimes, I am so obsessive with my thoughts that it takes a lot of imposing in order for me to see other perspective and I appreciate people go extra miles to do that to correct me. Unfortunately,...

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Why Aspies still better off going to Church?

Despite less than 1% of the Aspie population are Christians and being accepted by fellowship still requires certain threshold of social skills, there are still good reasons for Aspies to attend church.  The reasons are: Aspies love clearly layout rules and principal on how to deal with people.  The underlying principal for the sermons are based on love for one another and the people skills are clearly layout.   Worship serves the purpose of music therapy to sooth the anxiety and depression. The gospel is designed to serve the poor...

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Practice Scenarios

Real life examples contributed from Aspies derived from the painful experience of their worst failures,  such as losing a scholarship or job opportunities during the final interview, in hope to be a learning experience for the rest of the Aspies to avoid making the insensible mistake.  1. Friend addicted to drugs  (lost a schlorship) If your friend is recently addicted to drugs, what would you do? a) Leave the friend because he/she may influence you b) Try to help, be supportive, seek advice from experts and research...

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Asperger Traits

IQ much higher than EQ (IQ & EQ differences more than 1.5 standard deviation) 2-tiers maturity: Intellectual maturity much more than emotion maturity and social maturity (SQ - social quotient).  Sometimes people cannot notice because intellectual maturity mask emotion and social immaturity. Social skills has be taught, they cannot learn naturally. In autistic population the deficit is in cognitive empathy (figuring out the mental estate). Due to the starving kid is physically suffering it's easer to generate an emotional response than...

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Dysfunctional Thinkings

Impose your own judgement to override the instructions or judgement of someone with higher authorities e.g. A summer student were told that the office dress code is shirt and tie.  But the student makes the judgement himself thinking that was not necessary and wear jeans instead to work.  The end result is his losing the job because of his Ego and stubbornness in not listening to others who are more senior or experienced than him. 你要專心仰賴耶和華、不可倚靠自己的聰明．  在你一切所行的事上、都要認定他、他必指引你的路。 不要自以為有智慧．要敬畏耶和華、遠離惡事． (箴言 3 : 5-6) 腓立比書 2:3 只要存心謙卑、各人看別人比自己強。 Taking...

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Adversity Strategy

Aspies become excel at their special interest when they drill in the specific interest until it becomes intuition for them.  The special interest is usually something that they can develop within themselves independently without team support.  The interest can be common interest.  What makes the interest special is the intensity in the effort that gets put in. Successful Examples: Clay Marzo (Surfing) Clay Marzo began...

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Fail to Build Meaningful, Load Bearing and Supportive Relationship

Due to social deficits, Aspies are less likely to find and keep meaningful, load bearing and supporting relationship that can accept them as it is, provide feedback to help them to improve their social skills and go extra miles to support them whatever that is needed.  Even if they manage to keep a close friend for a few years due to certain circumstances but there are good chances are their lack of empathy towards others will alienate from the close friends over time when the close friends ran out of patience.  Most of these supportive...

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Controlling the Uncontrollables

Adults with relatively high cognitive ability seem at risk for developing symptoms of depression (around 60% chance), possibly because they derive their expectations for themselves based on their intellectual ability rather than overall ability, they are more aware of expectations of the outside world and their inability to meet those.  If they are raised in a negative environment, there are the possibilities of deep-seated anger against themselves (introvert) or against the society (extrovert) depends on the Aspies' inborn personality.  The...

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The Ultimate Identity Crisis

In this world, your identity is based on who you are, who you know well, how much money you earn, where did you go, your education and your occupation.  So if a person has been unemployed chronically, there is high risk of going through an ultimate identity crisis.  Identity crisis is a psychological crisis. For Aspies, self image is largely dependent on their job, what do they do for a living, the money they earn and currently had which means that if they are unemployed for a long period of time, their whole life has been collapsed....

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Q&A on Anger and Stress Management

If the parents often uses verbal attack and they may not aware of the negative effects on you, how do you forgive? You need to ask the parents politely to stop it right at the point.  Otherwise, hard to forgive if they kept hurting you verbally. I applied for a job at a country club as a waitress. I've been working there 4 days a week (when I'm not there I'm in school) and I honestly think this is one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I interact well with the club members and I rarely make mistakes on my orders, but it's so incredibly...

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Q&A on Handling Co-worker Relationship

If your co-worker has been bad mouthing you in front of your boss and your boss told you about it.  How to deal with this person? Just tell your boss, whatever he said is not true.  Let the boss deal with him...

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金燈臺

In church, Aspies naturally serve as a lampstand of pure gold because one can see the darkest corner that other people cannot see because of their attention-to-detail autistic trait, can think out of box and uniqueness.  That is why Aspies can so easily see the bad behavior of relationship predators.  Some of the bad behavior of relationship predators were on the entrance of the church and inside the church with a big crowd but surprisingly none of the church go-ers can see what’s happening because the bad behaviours are out of the...

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Business Etiquette for Aspies

Shared from Repent: “I tend to prefer one to one communication a work. In small meetings, I follow the rule that if there are 3 people- each person should talk about a 1/3 of the time, 4 people each person about 1/4 of the time, ect. In larger formal meetings I'm lost. I don't know how to act in formal settings. In a recent staff meeting the boss got up and started speaking to the group. He was very formal, and other co-workers started acting 'different', I can't explain better. After a few minutes he said several things about me and my job...

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China & Spain: Homeless People vs Peopleless Homes

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Devotion Notes from Kam Leung 傳道 (Nov-Dec, 2013)

Dec 31 他向你求壽，你便賜給他，就是日子長久，直到永遠。」詩篇21：4 大衛向上主耶和華禱告祈求生命在世的日子長久多一點，乃因他已接過上主加給精金的冠冕戴在頭上，盼望此美好輝煌的日子更多。特別之處就是上主聽禱告，成就賜予應許的日子，大衛在位正是見證以色列強盛，榮耀耶和華。我們見到大衛的禱告，確切的實現眼前，與神同行，合祂心意是最核心的影響。所以無論求甚麼，總要以愛 神為首，謙卑順服在祂面前。Amen！ Dec 30 「耶和華啊，王必因你的能力歡喜；因你的救恩，他的快樂何其大！」詩篇21：1 詩人大衛為著他作戰勝利而歌頌耶和華，交與負責敬拜的詩班長(伶長)獻頌。大衛王作戰之時一向不靠自己，乃倚靠耶和華的大能，惟有祂賜予亦是那從上而來的力量，才能攻克仇敵；更因著他專心敬畏耶和華，以救恩為樂，再沒有甚麼可以相比。我們在日常生活中遇上不少挑戰困難，靠的是己力，還是所信的 神！活出的是因救恩而大大喜樂！Amen！ Dec 29 「所羅門坐他父親大衛的位，他的國甚是堅固。」列王紀上2：12 一代合 神心意的君王大衛與他列祖同睡，昔日的一切都可以蓋棺定論，但無論如何上主看他的功與過都亦只有祂可以說定。大大衛被揀選、接受命定；奮戰攻克敵人、惡行私慾謀害他人；親近倚靠上主、痛悔罪孽過犯，上主仍是看在眼內，視為合心意的人。所羅門繼位將會比其父大衛更好，其國度更堅穩，活出上主賜予的智慧。我們見到一個人行在...

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Stand up for Yourself during the Presence of Relationship Predators with Anti-Social Personality Disorder

Relationship Predators with anti-social personality disorder is a natural threat for women with Autism because predators always look for an easy target.  Predators will generally have a history of conduct disorder as a teenager and extremely keen on observation, which means they can easily spot out the ASD traits in a large group of people. Predators usually target Aspies and try to take advantage of their low self-esteem, deep insecurities, 內弱 and weak in social support.   Anti-social predators will make use of peer pressure, misunderstanding,...

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Aspie Discussion on Bullying and the Importance of forming a bodyguard system within the classroom

Bullying is very common for kids with ASD.  It is very important that parents work with professionals and teachers to work out on a bodyguard system (they are protected by more positive peers) such that the vulnerable kid won't become the easy target. Tony Attwood wrote, " One of the problems with a prevention program that relies primarily on staff surveillance is that acts of bullying are usually covert, with only around 15 percent of such actions observed by a teacher in the classroom and only 5 percent in the playground (Pepler and Craig...

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Aspie Discussion: Association Mind - the internal whiteBoard, Being Too Serious on oneself

Question: Someone tell me that it's normal to return to the stuff you fear when you're anxious, because I clicked on a link to we3 through twitter last night and now I feel like a mental masochist.   is it OCD, pure O or something else? Reply from OctoberTiger Okay, I think that talking about WHY this is happening or if you are beating yourself up isn't necessarily going to help you out. I think you need a quick solution - understanding can come later, if you wish. So, what to do? I'm thinking NLP on this one - the cartoon is occuping...

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