ASD Christian Fellowship at Cafe/Airport

Dear Aspies,


I am going to start a Christian fellowship for Aspies in Hong Kong.


Location:

We are going to meet at an interesting cafe as suggested by members.   Each time probably at a different cafe/Airport Terminal 2.

Time:

Biweekly on Sat, 2-5pm

The purpose:

• To share about life experience, difficulties in career or social aspects.  
• Receive feedback on social skills if you wish.  
• Learn about the Gospel and the Christian Leadership skills.

Target Audience:

Age: 24+
Criteria: Socially challenged
Education: Bachelor degree and fluent in English
Work Experience: 1 year+

Please drop me an email if you're interested to join.  We'll start the fellowship once we have 8-10 people interested.

Read More

Aspie Sharing about Creativity

BirdinFlight:

my own experience I believe there's a lot to be said for this. When I was having a rough time in school every day, the one thing that got the bullies to stop bullying me was when they happened to hear me and a friend behind a wall, singing a song we'd worked out pretty harmonies for. Suddenly everyone who had bullied me in school dropped it or actually became nice to me. It was an accidental thing but worked like a charm, I discovered.

I was academically very bright but was bullied for that. I was excruciatingly shy and withdrawn and was bullied for that.
I also had creative talents in creative writing, art, and also music. I loved to sing, and one day I got the only best friend I had to sing the main part of a song while I sang harmony, and we had fun singing this. We never meant for anyone else to hear it, but we were practicing behind a corner wall at breaktime in school, some of my bullies heard it, and instead of giving me a hard time, they actually listened and were impressed, and from that point on life got a lot better for me in school. I've always looked upon that as the big turning point regarding the bullying.

I think it's fairly true in life that if you can do something that gives people a little bit of fun, pleasure, a moment to dream, a moment to laugh, or a moment to be moved -- which the arts all achieve in an audience -- people seem much more willing to give you a pass, brownie points, let you off the hook, admire you, or whatever. I think the key is to move or transport someone's mind or emotions.

Read More

Aspie Sharing: Not Fitting in Socially

Willard:

It's funny, Bumble, I've always known I seemed weird or odd to others a lot of the time, I knew that my thought processes were different (I thought superior) to the way others considered things), but it's been specifically since my diagnosis, that I've really begun to appreciate just how differently others really are seeing me.

I've become gradually more hyper-aware of the subtle facial expressions people make when I express an opinion; at the momentary silences as others glance at each other before the conversation proceeds; the silent verbal sidesteps as they change the subject, as though I've said something that, if pursued, might lead to a fistfight.  Confused

I guess I sensed some of that before, sort of subconsciously, but now it makes me feel like I just stepped in a pile of dogsh*t.  Embarassed

The sense of alienation and being apart from the norm has always been a part of my life, but as I've come to understand how AS works and how it affects us, the mechanics of my own social disjunction has become much more obvious to me - not in any way that would give me tools to change it, it's just who I am - but it's been enlightening to get some sense of just how weird I actually seem to others and how blind I was to it for so many years.  Shocked

bumble wrote:
Do I seem very weird to you?


Not particularly - you seem to me to have the same issues as almost everybody on WP. Which is to say, for an Aspie, you don't seem weird at all, but to the rest of the world, Aspies are decidedly weird.

That's why the sense of being stranded on the Wrong Planet is such a common feeling among those with High Functioning Autism - not only do we feel that way, we probably seem that way to the neurotypicals around us as well.  alien
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out." - Bill Hicks

I think that accounts for everybody here at WP. Ether you can't fit in or if you can fit in, You find yourself being miserable trying.

I can definitely relate to your frustration. I feel the exact same way every time I get rejected by someone socially. I assume it is my fault and that no one will ever love me or accept me or I feel like I ruined another relationship by being mean or thoughtless. I am often at a place emotionally where I think the solution is to interact with people as little as possible. Then I get suicidal thinking about 50 or 60 years of isolation and loneliness. 

When people say you are weird, they are saying you don't act like a normal person and it makes them uncomfortable. I think the answer as to why people think you are weird is that you are autistic and cannot pick up on the social cues and the unwritten social rules. Even if you did, you wouldn't follow them because they don't make sense to you. You think differently. 

The good news is that you can learn from your social mistakes. Also, not everyone considers being a weird person to be a felony offense punishable by death. Some people don't mind weird people. Some people even love weird people. I'm weird and people like me and even love me. I am the one that gets bent out of shape worrying that I will make a social mistake. Usually I don't, but when I do, I beat myself up unmercifully. 


I'm sorry everything is going the way it is for you right now, but I think things will be get better for you. I also share your anger at how unfair it is that we have to struggle so hard and change who we are just to get by when other people don't have to struggle so hard to have social relationships.

Read More

Strategy on YouTube

Introduction to Strategic Management

ECON 125 | Lecture 24: Michael Porter - Strategy
Simplify Your Strategy
Interview Strategy from Harvard Business School

Business Ideas

• Google I/O 2011: Don't just build a mobile app. Build a business.
• Google I/O 2011: How to Get Your Startup Idea Funded by Ve

Read More

朗程 - 自閉症人士輔助就業服務計劃

智力健全成年自閉症人士前路何去何從?

「朗程 - 自閉症人士輔助就業服務計劃」啟動明朗前程

有本地研究資料顯示，不少智力健全的自閉症兒童成年後仍然在形形式式的大專課程中尋尋覓覓，箇中原因是普遍成年自閉症人士在離開教育體制後，在持續發展上得到的支援相對減少，令他們頓感前路茫茫。近年，自閉症兒童成年後的問題備受社會關注，但社會上投放於成年自閉症人士的資源卻相對不足和缺乏，加上社會大眾一般對自閉症缺乏認識，即使智力健全的自閉症人士亦難以得到就業機會。

新生精神康復會（新生會）承蒙凱瑟克基金撥款資助，今年正式開展「朗程 - 自閉症人士輔助就業服務計劃」（「朗程」計劃），針對上述現況為面對就業困難的智力健全自閉症人士尋找工作培訓及公開就業機會，期望協助他們自力更生，融入社會。新生會專業服務經理（培訓及服務發展）鄧佩珊女士表示：「我們針對智力健全成年自閉症人士的需要，提供全面職前評估至公開就業的一站式服務，特點是以發掘服務使用者的個人優勢為本，透過評估為他們度身訂造一系列職前及社交能力訓練；我們並連繫公私營機構，建立多元化的僱主網絡，根據使用者的能力和興趣提供實習機會及就業配對，以期提昇他們的就業機會。」

新生會特別邀請資深臨床心理學家潘麥瑞雯博士擔任是項計劃的顧問。潘博士在2006至2008年間跟進了64位自閉症人士的成長個案，就「成年自閉症人士前路何去何從?」主題進行深入探討，發現這群年齡介乎18至28歲的自閉症人士中，44%擁有大專學歷，但當中很多人不斷報讀大專課程的原因是難以找到就業機會。雖然半數人已投入職場，但當中52%只能找到非技術性工作，如清潔、速遞、運輸及保安等，相比本港同齡擁有大專學歷的人口則只有17%從事同類工作；而得以晉身專業或管理人員的更只有3%、遠低於同齡人口的29%。

潘博士指出：「調查顯示，自閉症人士即使智力健全並擁有同等學歷，亦難以跟同齡人士一樣得到平等就業機會。大眾普遍對自閉症缺乏認識，令他們在職場上無法得到所需協助，即使從事基層工作，亦往住因未能適應而經常轉換工作，在上述個案中，只有15%人士能夠在同一工作崗位任職一年或以上。就自閉症人士而言，就職成功與否，很大程度取決於社工的協助及僱主的諒解和支持。」

記者會上，「朗程」計劃準服務使用者阿邦及母親張女士即場分享他們的經歷。今年18歲的阿邦是應屆文憑試考生，暑假後將會繼續升學，但已屆成年的他希望找一份兼職賺取零用錢，嘗試獨立自主。可惜，過去數月找工作的失敗經歷令他非常沮喪：「每次面試後，他們都叫我回家等消息，結果都沒有回音，我找過文員、資料整理，甚至是便利店和派傳單等工作，但最終都不成功。」阿邦明白到自己缺乏求職及面試的技巧，亦不了解自己的優勢和適合甚麼工作，期望「朗程」計劃能夠給予所需協助。張女士感慨地說：「眼見兒子處處碰壁，我心裡非常難過，留在學校就像一個避風港，讓他有一個容身之所，但我更希望為他找一個工作機會，讓他真正投入社會，嘗試自力更生。我相信自閉症人士也有能力貢獻社會，希望大家給他們一個機會。」

盧女士亦有過一段艱辛的經歷。她的兒子同時是患有自閉症和過度活躍症，是「朗程」計劃顧問潘博士跟進多年的個案之一。現年28歲的他於2008年畢業後，先後做過速遞、雜工、派傳單等工作，但因為適應困難，每一份都不長久，兩三年間已轉換了四、五份工作，直至遇到現時的僱主，才總算安定下來。盧女士表示：「僱主大多不認識自閉症，不懂如何與自閉症人士相處，其實只要有適當的協助，自閉症人士也能發揮自己的長處，做好自己的工作。我的兒子比較幸運，遇到一位開明的僱主，願意接納他的特殊情況，給予適當的協助。我希望社會關注自閉症人士的就業問題，要幫助他們正常就業，社會的協助和長期跟進非常重要，家長及僱主的支持更是不可或缺。」

新生會期望透過「朗程」計劃，向學員、僱主及家屬三方面提供全面性的輔導服務，為智力健全的自閉症人士尋找明朗前程。本計劃現已開始招募學員，並積極建立培訓實習和工作配對網絡，我們熱切呼籲本港各界公私營機構積極參與。查詢詳情，歡迎致電2327 4045與我們聯絡。

傳媒查詢：
傳訊主任劉銘傑
電話：3552 5107
電郵：keithlau@nlpra.org.hk

Read More

Differences between Self-centre and Selfish, Mind-blindness

For normal people, self-centred and selfish means almost the same character.  But for Aspies, there is difference:

• Self-centre means self-focus and self-conscious, lack of empathy in a sense that ignore other people's feeling or perspective.  Putting one's own opinion and judgment higher priority/authority than other people, which may/may not resulting in the advantage of oneself.
• Selfish means intentionally taking advantage of others for your own good.

No two clients with Asperger’s syndrome exhibit the same cluster of traits, nor does any one client exhibit them all. However, there is one element that I recognize as pervasively diminished in all Asperger’s clients. This element is called “theory of mind.”

What is theory of mind? It is a person’s ability to imagine the interior life of another person. This includes understanding why someone else does something, how someone might feel in a certain circumstance, what might be important to that person: in short, it is the ability to put oneself in the mind of another person and see the world from that person’s point of view. Theory of mind means being able to create a theory about the way another person’s mind works.

Theory of mind provides the basis for empathy because if you can walk in someone else’s shoes, you also become capable, by extension, of feeling any pain or delight that person experiences. You understand motivation. You catch a glimpse of fears and dislikes. You get to know the other person from the inside out.

According to autism specialist Simon Baron-Cohen, individuals with Asperger’s syndrome typically have delayed access or no access to this phenomenon of human communication and share a problem that is called mind-blindness. Since interpersonal communication is approximately 65% nonverbal, you can quickly see that not being able to formulate a theory of mind leaves these individuals at a distinct disadvantage in relationship with others because the behavior of other people does not make sense to them.

For parents, this gap can create difficulties when they treat their son or daughter with Asperger’s with the same set of interpersonal expectations with which they treat their other children and assume intact theory of mind capabilities. This can lead to incorrect understanding of the child’s behavior as being intentionally hurtful, for example, when in fact it was based in lack of awareness.

A common test used with children suspected of being autistic is called the Sally and Anne Test:

Sally has a basket. Anne has a box. Sally has a marble. She puts the marble into her basket. Sally goes out for a walk. Anne takes the marble out of the basket and puts it into the box. Now Sally comes back. She wants to play with her marble. Where will Sally look for the marble?

Most children will answer that Sally will look in her basket, because that’s where she put it and that’s where she expects it to be when she returns from her walk. Baron-Cohen discovered that only 20% of children with autism were able to answer correctly. A full 80% answered that Sally would look in the box, because that is where the marble is.

This test is often used to demonstrate the theory of mind deficits in children with Asperger’s syndrome. They believe Sally will look in the box for her marble because they know that’s where it is. They are unable to put themselves into Sally’s mind in order to understand that from her perspective the marble should be right where she left it: in her basket. Can you imagine how unpredictable and irrational the world must appear to a child whose logic is denied in such a manner? This is the world of a child with Asperger’s syndrome.

I work with children to help them build bridges toward understanding the behavior of others, so that they can come to anticipate that their own logical view of the world may not apply in all circumstances. This is one of the primary goals of therapy with these children. It is an attempt to help them experience the world as a safer place than it appears when their logical perspective is consistently shattered by experiences that do not align with it.

Read More

My YouTube Videos

This video series is the first one to share my experience working with people on the spectrum:

1.  4:05

   Real life experience on Aspergers: fine motor clumsiness, stimming and bottom-up learning style

Read More

Aspie Sharing: Office Politics

From Willard:

I've had several management positions, of different types. In some, I had to oversee small crews under varying circumstances. It usually went pretty smoothly, but there always seems to be at least one incurable slacker in every group. It's almost like a mathematical principle in physics. Every group of more than two has to have at least one useless goof off.

In several instances, I operated an entire department that was entirely under my purview and control, but some of the work had to be farmed out to other employees who were technically overseen by a different manager.

The problem I ran into as an Aspergian was that my social blindness made me especially vulnerable to duplicity - I sometimes failed to realize that certain people were intentionally undermining me behind my back to my superiors until it was too late and often found myself being manipulated by people up the food chain with no recourse or innate skills with which to handle the situation.

I also found myself frequently in a position of RESPONSIBILITY, with NO AUTHORITY - i.e., a scapegoat. That's when they give you the duties of seeing something done, but don't give you the title that would allow you to put real pressure on the idiots you're supposed to be governing, so your crew knows you can't fire them and ignores every order you give them and you catch all the flack when everything crashes and burns. It's a classic No-Win Situation. Rolling Eyes
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out." - Bill Hicks


From AutisticMillionaire
Tons of us aspies are in leadership roles, and of course you can learn to do it. I'm not sure how much a class might help, most of it's natural ability and ones personal expertise in a field but it can't hurt.

Look into the position you wish to fill, and think about problems that could arise with those you lead, learn the company lingo and products used in the field and take the mentality "This is my responsibility" always and never.."that aint my job" and you will find yourself the leader, and so will your boss.

I own a small company worth a few million dollars that I've grown over the last 10+ years, and a small side company as well. It's a family business, as we mostly employ family, and never had outside employees until recent history.

I have run a few non-profits connected to historical reenactment over the years though. So I'll cover mostly non-profits, and why they are psychologically more taxing in many ways.

Serious non-profits (of merit) I've lead.
Founder and former President to the Holy Curia of Ecclesiastical Reenactors (HCoER) -over 200 people nationally
Former President to the Shire of Silverkeep, sca inc. (Medieval Reenactment group) -over 45 people locally (non-profit)
President to the Outremer Society (Medieval Reenactment group) - Small (non-profit, currently on hold)
The Village of Tortosa Project- Over 40 members, we were going to build a small castle and village, but I shut down the project when I quit medievalism. Most likely made some people bitter towards me because some really wanted it.

Not serious non-profits (of non-merit) I've lead.
Former "Emperor of Montana" (Old Camarilla Vampire Larp) -Over 100 people locally (non-profit, no longer existent) Fun game, never learned the rules and ended up the grand poo-baa on chutzpah and charm. (I was also the groups "coordinator" or problem resolver of inter-group personal squabbles.) Proof Aspies can play social politics as well as any NT.

My experience is that running a for-profit enterprise, is completely different than running a non-profit for the reasons listed below. As president of a non-profit, I've had to talk to both television and newspaper reporters and other public speaking situations that I never have to worry about in my quiet nest at work. Work never made me run monthly meetings, or force social interaction outside of business. Work does not involve social phone calls, or small talk a non-profit requires and expects.

As a president of a local non-profit chapter, you are required to fill monthly reports to a national organization, and the collection of reports of your officers. Who are often unqualified volunteers...meaning you need to do multiple jobs like you would your own business. Just without pay or reward...

But unlike your own business you are forced to work (responsibility) without the ability to fire the bad workers (authority) or to do it your own way. Often hamstrung by a national group that's either incompetent, corrupt or a bit of both following their policies.

At work I can fire who I wish, and answer to no one, no monthly reports, no tedious meetings, no badgering officers, no paying for others out of my own pocket. No storing of goods, no weirdos, no people you hate but are forced to deal with regardless Smile . Non-profits will tax a persons leadership ability and patience more than anything.

So Willard hit's the nail on the head, responsibility without authority makes you a scapegoat.. and/or makes you feel used.

Leading a diverse group of volunteers of various ages, cultural backgrounds and individual resources is akin to "wrangling cats". Getting them focused on a goal with their various individual wants, was often a chore.

Non-profits are made of volunteers. Unlike hiring people, your not choosing the best of the best, your getting whoever shows up. This is where non-profits are the weakest, as they attract "folks looking for something to do" and not ambitious types hungry for the paycheck. What shows is empty-nesters, the lonely divorced, the serially unemployed, college kids and the like. Sometimes very enthusiastic, others just looking for something to do. Some following weird lifestyles, section eight, folks on med's, goodhearted but often hard to communicate with individuals. I'm not trying to sound judgmental, I'm just addressing my experience.

They want to contribute...but often volunteers, have "ideas". Most often bad ideas. Always ignoring the logistics, the storing and transporting of group goods/projects and real life costs. Often they end up depending on you and when you end up stepping down, people treat you like are betraying them leaving them leaderless.

I did it for years, it was work and I ended up hating the hobby I was part of for 27yrs. I have no interest in "leading" anything now but I'll run a business. I don't feel bad saying no all the time, as it's my money. It's not a collaboration, it's not shared goals...it's my goals. It's for my wife, myself, and my greater family at large. The only opinion is mine, and everything generally runs like clockwork. I run a tight ship,.

You can too! Remember we pay attention to details others don't...that's why I believe many aspies are natural leaders. We never could fit in with NT peers so many of us adapted to lead them. If you can't fit in, lead. If your asking the question, then your interested in the position and thus can do it. You can do it.
_________________
"I don't care half so much about making money as I do about making my point, and coming out ahead."

From Lammiu:

I was a leader working in a matrix project team. Even though I don't have formal authority to fire but because I was doing client facing and gathering requirements from clients. The india IT development team respected my expertise and knowledge such that we can deliver according to the need of the clients. I think indian staff are known for their obedience. I am Chinese. So it depends on the work environment and team structure. IT generally respect people's expertise especially you're on the client side even though without real authority.

Something beware. Because IT project are high risk of delay. Usually there is a shadow project manager that owns the formal title of a project manager. But the real person with authority is usually behind the person. I made the mistake of misjudging the project manager because of his lack of competency and look down on him. Later on, I realised the real project manager is insulted because of my attitude. So the formal manager is the representative or scapegoat of the "real" one. That's why we should not look down on authority even they are seemingly incompetent.

Read More

Proverb & John

我兒、你若領受我的言語、存記我的命令、
側耳聽智慧、專心求聰明．
呼求明哲、揚聲求聰明、
尋找他如尋找銀子、搜求他如搜求隱藏的珍寶、
你就明白敬畏耶和華、得以認識　神。
 因為、耶和華賜人智慧．知識和聰明都由他口而出．
他給正直人存留真智慧、給行為純正的人作盾牌．
為要保守公平人的路、護庇虔敬人的道．
你也必明白仁義、公平、正直、一切的善道。
智慧必入你心．你的靈要以知識為美．
 謀略必護衛你．聰明必保守你．
要救你脫離惡道〔惡道或作惡人的道〕、脫離說乖謬話的人。
那等人捨棄正直的路、行走黑暗的道、
歡喜作惡、喜愛惡人的乖僻．
在他們的道中彎曲、在他們的路上偏僻。

Proverb 3:21

我兒、要謹守真智慧和謀略．不可使他離開你的眼目．

Proverb 10
義人的口教養多人．愚昧人因無知而死亡。

義人的嘴、能令人喜悅．惡人的口、說乖謬的話。
Proverb 18

愚昧人的口、自取敗壞．他的嘴、是他生命的網羅。

敗壞之先、人心驕傲．尊榮以前、必有謙卑。

未曾聽完先回答的、便是他的愚昧、和羞辱。

人有疾病、心能忍耐．心靈憂傷、誰能承當呢。

聰明人的心得知識．智慧人的耳求知識。

箴言21：4 殷勤籌劃的、足致豐裕．行事急躁的、都必缺乏。


John 10

從門進去的、纔是羊的牧人。

看門的就給他開門．羊也聽他的聲音．他按著名叫自己的羊、把羊領出來。

既放出自己的羊來、就在前頭走、羊也跟著他、因為認得他的聲音。

我是好牧人．我認識我的羊、我的羊也認識我。

Read More