Aspie Sharing: Imposing view on others

octobertiger wrote:
Well a couple of weeks ago, I made a post and you said that I was too intent on imposing my world view on others - and you were right. I never thanked you for that.

Reply:
I guess depends on the person. I usually prefer people to impose their view on me if they think what I think is not completely true. Because that can expand my mind. Sometimes, I am so obsessive with my thoughts that it takes a lot of imposing in order for me to see other perspective and I appreciate people go extra miles to do that to correct me. Unfortunately, I also agree with Leafplant that 99% people don't like to be imposed and helped. It actually improves our relationship with people if we stop ourselves trying to help people with our good intention. I found that our mind are very rigid and narrow compared to NT, so most of time our comments will not be well received and people think we are attacking/criticise/push them, while we have every good intention to try to help. This leads to our rejection from others and our disappointment for our own good effort. I guess these failures are due to my expectation people will be willing to listen to others' input same as me, while the truth is the opposite. So due to my lack of empathy, I always stumble on situations like that.

Recognise turnoff signal:
My son has AS. A big thing for him is how to recognize when people are interested in what you are saying or are bored. He can go on and on about one subject whether people care about it or not. Also if someone tries to change the subject, he goes right back to what he was talking about. If she has this problem, tell her to look for cues. A sign of bordem might be looking away , changing the topic, yawning, etc. Tell her to make sure to listen to what people are saying and try to stay on that topic for a while. Tell her to make sure she doesn't dominate the conversation. Also role play with her on how to start conversations with people. Teach her to look for something they have in common and start with that. It is obvious to NTs but not to people with AS. My son is much younger so this may not apply but in his case, he has to be careful about only wanting to do activities that he likes all the time. He doesn't take into account what his friends like to do too.
Also, they don't always know about personal space. I tell my son to imagine the other person with a hula hoop around them. He is to stay that far out from them. I'm sure there are more things you can do to help. Try researching on-line or in the library for ideas.

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Why Aspies still better off going to Church?

Despite less than 1% of the Aspie population are Christians and being accepted by fellowship still requires certain threshold of social skills, there are still good reasons for Aspies to attend church.  The reasons are:

• Aspies love clearly layout rules and principal on how to deal with people.  The underlying principal for the sermons are based on love for one another and the people skills are clearly layout.  
• Worship serves the purpose of music therapy to sooth the anxiety and depression.
• The gospel is designed to serve the poor and the weak.  Biblical principal helps to turn around the negative paradigm and life views.
• Aspies dislike uncertainty and have deep sense of insecurity.  Building a strong relationship with God is a certainty and helps to reduce their insecurity by trusting God as a strong foundation for their life.
• Fellowship with Christian can provide honest feedback to help Aspies to pick up the essential social skills and helps to ratify the obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviour.  These honest feedback will be hard to come by at work or other social groups.

傳道書 9:15 城中有一個貧窮的智慧人、他用智慧救了那城、卻沒有人記念那窮人． 

有一服務Special Needs的宣教機構比一般教會多收一些IQ 較低, 行為較古怪, 情緒比較大, 咁偉大的神聖任務它承幨了, 反而推走了很多銀行家,專業人士, 不再參加他們的活動, 做好事反而收場充滿壓力, this is a positive thing.  人生裏面很頂天立地,有一些 positive action, 犧牲是值得的, 不過消耗 也很高,沒有人體諒他們.

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Practice Scenarios

Real life examples contributed from Aspies derived from the painful experience of their worst failures,  such as losing a scholarship or job opportunities during the final interview, in hope to be a learning experience for the rest of the Aspies to avoid making the insensible mistake. 


1. Friend addicted to drugs  (lost a schlorship)

If your friend is recently addicted to drugs, what would you do?
a) Leave the friend because he/she may influence you
b) Try to help, be supportive, seek advice from experts and research on what program can help people quite drug

2. Elephant in Forest (lost a job opportunity at final interview)

You’re riding an elephant in a forest.  Half of the elephant is painted red and half is painted green.  Another elephant is running towards you.  What would you do?

3. Lions Trapped

 A Man
} lion 1 {
} lion 2 {
} lion 3 {
……..
} lion X {

A man is trapped in an alps with a long line of lions.  The lions are very skinny with only bone and skin.  The lion first lion would have to determine whether to eat the man or not.  If the lion ate the man, there will be meat inside the stomach of Lion 1 and the lion behind Lion 1 will eat Lion 1 for the meat of the man.  Should Lion 1 eat the man?

4. Mary interviewed a few band-1 secondary schools and didn’t get in.  A teacher referred a band-2 school, during the interview,
Interviewer:  why you apply for this school.
Mary: Because I have tried other school first and didn’t get in.  That’s why I come here.
Is Mary’s response appropriate?  If not, what’s wrong?
(lost placement for a good secondary school)

5. Morning coffee spills by a child on Daddy’s shirt.  Daddy scolded the child and the mum for 20 mins and ended up everyone late for work and child late for school.  In the evening, everyone comes home and all look upset.  Who’s fault?  Daddy.  Because the accident has already happened and no use to scold.  Stress and unhappiness added up, and exploded on small accident like coffee spilt.

Etiquette

1. During having dim sum, your favourite dish milk bun arrives hot.  There are only 3 buns on the dish and there are 5 of you.  What should you do?

a) Take 1 for yourself while it’s hot
b) Ask around if someone want to share one with you.  If someone say, she don’t want it, you can have 1 by yourself.

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Asperger Traits

• IQ much higher than EQ (IQ & EQ differences more than 1.5 standard deviation)
• 2-tiers maturity: Intellectual maturity much more than emotion maturity and social maturity (SQ - social quotient).  Sometimes people cannot notice because intellectual maturity mask emotion and social immaturity.
• Social skills has be taught, they cannot learn naturally.
• In autistic population the deficit is in cognitive empathy (figuring out the mental estate). Due to the starving kid is physically suffering it's easer to generate an emotional response than if the person has is mentally suffering.
• Single skill set with weakness in multi-tasking.
• Low energy level (Range 1-6 with average 3.5).  無助,無力感高.  At energy level 2, people thought they are lazy, but this is not true, it is just because they are born with low energy level.
• Non-verbal learning disability
• Facial recognition response time: a few seconds slower than normal people
• Attention shifting among team of people is much less frequent than normal people
• Taking things and conversation literally

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Dysfunctional Thinkings

Impose your own judgement to override the instructions or judgement of someone with higher authorities

e.g. A summer student were told that the office dress code is shirt and tie.  But the student makes the judgement himself thinking that was not necessary and wear jeans instead to work.  The end result is his losing the job because of his Ego and stubbornness in not listening to others who are more senior or experienced than him.

你要專心仰賴耶和華、不可倚靠自己的聰明．
 在你一切所行的事上、都要認定他、他必指引你的路。
不要自以為有智慧．要敬畏耶和華、遠離惡事．
(箴言 3 : 5-6)

腓立比書 2:3
只要存心謙卑、各人看別人比自己強。

Taking statistics and facts too seriously

Octobertiger: "Forget the statistics. I'm not a number on a chart, and you are not one, too."

Lack of Emotion Wordings during Conversation

One of the therapy session will be practising emotion wordings e.g.
"I feel helpless...because..., so I need to seek help from ..."
"I feel pressured or stressed because..., so I need to take a break"

Emotion transfered through other means than express towards people

Aspies generally expresses emotions through music, writings, arts and nature, instead of express the emotions towards people during socializing.


Too Quick to Jump into Conclusion due to Bottom up Thinking Process

The autistic mind are less flexible and narrower than most people.    The autistic mind is not designed for top down, instead they derive their big picture understanding based on specific examples.  This resulted in, they having a strong tendency to jump into conclusion just because of a few similar incidents they experienced personally.  Also, because of their lack of exposure to people of different mindsets due to their social withdrawal, they don't have a strong feedback mechanism to correct their dyfunctional thinking.

Oversensitive on feeling.


Over Empathizes on Negativity and Personal Experiences

Those have negative upbringing background traits usually can grow out of those traits as they mature.  However, with mind-blindness, Aspies had a hard time detecting the impact of their behavior on others, making maturing out of negative upbringing traits difficult.  The following are some of the negative traits from upbringing:

• Tendency to compare and put down
• Quick to observe and point out other people’s mistakes and thinking doing people a favor
• Teasing people when people make mistake or being dumb
• Self-righteous and critical

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Adversity Strategy

Aspies become excel at their special interest when they drill in the specific interest until it becomes intuition for them.  The special interest is usually something that they can develop within themselves independently without team support.  The interest can be common interest.  What makes the interest special is the intensity in the effort that gets put in.

Successful Examples:

• Clay Marzo (Surfing)

Clay Marzo began competitively surfing and swimming at an early age. When he was 10 years old, he won the 200 meter freestyle event at the annual Hawaii State Swimming Championships.^[7] At age 11, he placed third at the National Scholastic Surfing Association (NSSA) Nationals competition, and signed a pro contract with the Quiksilver team.^[8] When Marzo was 15, he became the first surfer to receive two perfect 10's in NSSA history and won the NSSA National title. In 2005, Marzo became the NSSA Open Men’s National Champion. His other accomplishments include being nominated for Maneuver of the Year at the 2007 Surfer Poll Awards, and Water Man of the Year in 2006.

• Mozart (Music)
• Einstein (Theoretical Physics)

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Fail to Build Meaningful, Load Bearing and Supportive Relationship

Due to social deficits, Aspies are less likely to find and keep meaningful, load bearing and supporting relationship that can accept them as it is, provide feedback to help them to improve their social skills and go extra miles to support them whatever that is needed.  Even if they manage to keep a close friend for a few years due to certain circumstances but there are good chances are their lack of empathy towards others will alienate from the close friends over time when the close friends ran out of patience.  Most of these supportive roles are provided by their parents or close relatives if they are lucky.

They usually has a history of being bullied by their peers at school or work.  Therefore, there are deep-seated hurts by peer group's rejection and misunderstanding.   Ideally, the church could serve as a positive peer group to heal their deep wounds.  Unfortunately, to be accepted by the church fellowship group also requires certain level of social skills and normal behaviour which most Aspies do not have.   As a result, their negative experience accumulated and deepened even so in a church environment because there are the general expectation that the church group will be loving.   In fact, with the high moral expectation from the "Pharisee" type of Christians, Aspies are more likely to be misunderstood, labeled and exposed of their "sins" than normal Christians.  This explains why the Aspies community has less than 1% Christian among highly concentrated Christian countries.   Therefore, it is very important for church leaders to realize that exposing/hinting the rumoured "sins" of Aspies without any solid evidence in the whole church, as an attempt to purified and upgrade their faith, or hinting any negative impression in the congregation will deepen the negative experience of Aspies and eventually caused them to withdraw from church.

Aspies generally are weak in picking up subtle social cues, therefore most of them developed a sixth sense in detecting the atmosphere in the group environment and usually are very accurate.  Any unfriendly atmosphere in a group environment will be interpreted as group rejection.

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Controlling the Uncontrollables

Adults with relatively high cognitive ability seem at risk for developing symptoms of depression (around 60% chance), possibly because they derive their expectations for themselves based on their intellectual ability rather than overall ability, they are more aware of expectations of the outside world and their inability to meet those.  If they are raised in a negative environment, there are the possibilities of deep-seated anger against themselves (introvert) or against the society (extrovert) depends on the Aspies' inborn personality.  The depression is caused by self-destructive and punishment mechanism that runs automatically caused by faulty value system learnt from negative upbringing.  Human behaviour is influenced by 20%  from consciousness and 80% runs automatically without going through our consciousness.

Uncontrollable circumstances weakens them, such as financial or relational limitations, and onset the anxiety and depression because they are attempting to control the uncontrollables in life.

『人活著不是單靠食物、乃是靠　神口裡所出的一切話。』路加福音 4 : 4

From the Purpose Driven Life:

"God loves to use weak people...
Usually we deny our weaknesses, defend them, excuse them, hide them, and resent them.  This prevents God from using them the way he desires.

God has a different perspective on your weaknesses.  He says, "My thoughts and my ways are higher than yours", so he often acts in ways that are the exact opposite of what we expect.  We think that God only wants to use our strengths, but he also wants to use our weaknesses for his glory.

The bible says, "God purposely chose... what the world considers weak in order to shame the powerful."  Your weaknesses are not an accident.  God deliberately allowed them in your life for the purpose of demonstrating his power through you....

God is never limited by our limitations.  The Bible says, "We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored.  The real power comes from God and not from us."

"

「弟兄們哪、可見你們蒙召的、按著肉體有智慧的不多、有能力的不多、有尊貴的也不多．神卻揀選了世上愚拙的、叫有智慧的羞愧．又揀選了世上軟弱的、叫那強壯的羞愧．神也揀選了世上卑賤的、被人厭惡的、以及那無有的、為要廢掉那有的．使一切有血氣的、在　神面前一個也不能自誇。但你們得在基督耶穌裡、是本乎　神、　神又使他成為我們的智慧、公義、聖潔、救贖．」哥林多前書 1: 26-30

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The Ultimate Identity Crisis

In this world, your identity is based on who you are, who you know well, how much money you earn, where did you go, your education and your occupation.  So if a person has been unemployed chronically, there is high risk of going through an ultimate identity crisis.  Identity crisis is a psychological crisis.

For Aspies, self image is largely dependent on their job, what do they do for a living, the money they earn and currently had which means that if they are unemployed for a long period of time, their whole life has been collapsed.  However, "God is far more interested in what you are than what you do.  Remember, you will take your character (fruit of of the Holy Spirit) into eternity, but not your career." (The Purpose Driven Life)

It is natural for the church to assume during unemployment they have lots of free time and therefore can help to coach the children on English to serve the church and community.  But in fact, this is a wrong assumption because with them going through identity crisis and depression, all energy for life has been drained, even a very small load on the Aspie, they do not feel motivated to do, although the load is light but it is like a straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Joshua Gordon Lee wrote in his book, during the worst time of his life he frequently drives an hour to the desert to move by hand big and heavy rocks from one place to another because moving rocks give him the feeling of sturdy, in control and solid that badly needs in the time of difficulties.  Because of their limited interest on most aspects of life, God has always used the career downtimes as a way to push them to expand oneself.

Reading “Seven Days of Faith” which details out how Christian can achieve spiritual growth through daily activities.  God want to mode us into the way He want it through our traumatic experience, daily activities.  In fact, we grow more in our traumatic experience than having an easy and happy life.
A better way to restore our identity during crisis is to express love.  God values and keep records of our good work to express love and this goes to eternity.  Simple things like decorating the church or our home such that others can feel more comfortable and can enjoy their lives better are loving others and serving God.  Our identity should be our effort in loving God and others and our thoughts.  Identity for a Christian is what and how to love.

Just like Moses and Joseph went through a lot of traumatic experience such that they both developed godly character of humble and meek in order to become a great leader without being arrogant.  The plan of God for their life is to become a leader the way God want them to be.  True spiritual maturity is measured by faith developed through true intimacy with God.  Enoch has not done much in serving the Lord in his life besides raising his own family but he walked closely with God for 300 hundred years.
You are the one who is to choose the meaning of career.  Career for me as it turns out to be opportunity to grow and refine my strategy to handle adversity.

The Purpose Driven Life:
"If you're going to be a servant, you must settle your identity in Christ.  Only secure people can serve.  Insecure people are always worrying about how they appear to others.  They fear exposue of their weaknesses and hide beneath layers of  protective pride and pretensions.  The more insecure you are, the more you will want people to serve you, and the more you will need their approval.

Henri Nouwen said, "In order to be of service to others we have to die to them; that is, we have to give up measuring our meaning and value with the yardstick of others.... thus we become free to be compassionate."  When you base your worth and identity on your relationship to Christ, you are freed from the expectations of others, and that allows you to really serve them best."

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Q&A on Anger and Stress Management

If the parents often uses verbal attack and they may not aware of the negative effects on you, how do you forgive?

You need to ask the parents politely to stop it right at the point.  Otherwise, hard to forgive if they kept hurting you verbally.

I applied for a job at a country club as a waitress. I've been working there 4 days a week (when I'm not there I'm in school) and I honestly think this is one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I interact well with the club members and I rarely make mistakes on my orders, but it's so incredibly stressful for me. I feel as though I'm on the verge of a meltdown from the moment I put my apron on to the moment my shift ends. I have anti-anxiety medication, but I don't like taking it before work because it makes me drowsy. I really need this job but I don't know if it's worth the amount of stress it causes me.

Look for ways to create systems and routines if those are things that calm you down.

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Q&A on Handling Co-worker Relationship

If your co-worker has been bad mouthing you in front of your boss and your boss told you about it.  How to deal with this person?

Just tell your boss, whatever he said is not true.  Let the boss deal with him.

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金燈臺

In church, Aspies naturally serve as a lampstand of pure gold because one can see the darkest corner that other people cannot see because of their attention-to-detail autistic trait, can think out of box and uniqueness.  That is why Aspies can so easily see the bad behavior of relationship predators.  Some of the bad behavior of relationship predators were on the entrance of the church and inside the church with a big crowd but surprisingly none of the church go-ers can see what’s happening because the bad behaviours are out of the expectation of normal people.

金燈臺是什麼？金燈臺就是一個地方、一個地方上的召會，憑著父神的生命和性情，在基督的復活裏受捶打而成形，並被聖靈充滿浸潤而照耀。這就是每一個主所呼召的人，今天該活在其中的異象、該與眾聖徒在一裏彰顯出來的實際。
神聖的生命必須具體成形在我們人性的生活裏，成形的是我們的人性生活，但受捶打的乃是永遠的生命。受捶打的不是我們墮落的魂生命，我們的魂生命必須為主捨棄、喪失。當神聖的捶打臨到我們時，我們不該在魂生命裏來領受、忍受，如果我們是憑自己的魂生命接受捶打，我們所得著的不過就僅剩下「受苦」而已。我們該天天靠著十字架，看自己的魂生命如同已死，當神聖的捶打臨到我們時，我們該在永遠的生命裏來受捶打，這樣，捶打就不僅是受苦，更是帶來神聖生命的長成。
神的建造不同於巴比倫的建造。巴比倫乃是把我們的魂生命燒成磚，與其他的磚頭用灰泥作漆連結起來；但神聖的生命自始至終都是「一」，就如金燈臺是由「一塊精金」捶打出來的，捶打出許多分枝，但不是分開捶打後再結合，乃是從一塊精金捶打成形。我們在自己的魂生命裏都是分開的、獨立的個體，但我們蒙召進入永遠生命裏的時候，我們各人卻都是一個身體上的肢體，共享一個生命、共同有份同一個生命。從這個角度來說，基督今天仍在受苦，復活的基督仍在受苦、受逼迫。基督雖然從死裏復活了，但神聖建造的工作才剛剛開始，當祂在掃羅逼迫基督徒的路上向他顯現時，祂對掃羅說：「你為什麼逼迫我？」掃羅並不是直接逼迫在地上的拿撒勒人耶穌，而是在耶穌死而復活之後，逼迫那些有份於這永遠生命的人們，但在基督的感覺裏，這就是逼迫祂，祂雖不必再為贖罪的工作受苦，但祂仍然在為神聖建造、生命成形的工作受苦。

引用來源： 金燈臺 | 水深之處福音網站 http://www.luke54.org/view/25/2986.html#ixzz2OGrZmuVn 

From Kam Leung:

「凡事受了責備，就被光顯明出來，因為一切能顯明的就是光。」以弗所書5：13 保羅指出光的效能就是在所到之處，一切黑暗與污垢全都要顯露出來。正如對以弗所的信徒勉勵，生活樣式要展現像光明之子，光來到就是照耀全地。當聖靈在我們所思所行，甚至所講的事上都會如光的照明，正當與邪惡；真誠與虛假；公義與私慾；愛心與嫉妒，這一切都無從隱藏。我們就更當行事為人靠著那加給我力量的，凡事都能作。Amen！

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Business Etiquette for Aspies

Shared from Repent:

“I tend to prefer one to one communication a work. In small meetings, I follow the rule that if there are 3 people- each person should talk about a 1/3 of the time, 4 people each person about 1/4 of the time, ect.

In larger formal meetings I'm lost. I don't know how to act in formal settings. In a recent staff meeting the boss got up and started speaking to the group. He was very formal, and other co-workers started acting 'different', I can't explain better. After a few minutes he said several things about me and my job that I didn't agree with, so, I interrupted him to correct him on the inaccuracies. I could 'feel' the other workers stare at me as I must have broken some 'invisible' rule about boardroom etiquette. In retrospect, I think I should just have let the boss talk and present without interruption, even though he was wrong.

It’s completely different from a person to person conversation, or an informal meeting of a few people. I haven't got a clue how to behave in a formal meeting? The boss then dismissed me from the meeting, and carried the meeting on with the rest of the staff. I was angry about being 'shut out', what could the boss say to the rest of the staff that he couldn't say with me present? I was fuming for the balance of the work day.

One on one with the boss I'm fine. Even informal meetings just in the office or in the hall way with my co-workers and the boss are fine. The formal boardroom meeting style is different and unfortunately beyond my comprehension? I can't pickup up on sublety, I often miss body movement, or other clues that other people can pickup up on.”

Wait until the other person finishes speaking before you reply or comment. That is good etiquette in any setting but is doubly important in a formal setting with a boss or executive. He called the meeting so he decides who and when people speak.

Responsed from AsPartOfMe:

“I would apologize to him. I would also say it was your first time in this type of meeting. Most NT's will be sympathetic if they understand your lack of experience and will try to explain things to you. This is called disclosing symptoms

BUSINESS MEETING ETIQUETTE

http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/cultural-services/articles/business-meeting-etiquette.html

“

My presentation was adapted from:

http://www.articlesbase.com/leadership-articles/the-eight-ps-of-office-meeting-protocol-1130083.html



'Aspartofme' thanks for the link- 

I broke all of the rules laid out in the formal business meeting description it laid out. I will apologise to the boss and hope for the best. 'Aspartofme' thanks for the link- 

I broke all of the rules laid out in the formal business meeting description it laid out. I will apologise to the boss and hope for the best. 

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China & Spain: Homeless People vs Peopleless Homes

 

   

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Devotion Notes from Kam Leung 傳道 (Nov-Dec, 2013)

Dec 31

他向你求壽，你便賜給他，就是日子長久，直到永遠。」詩篇21：4 大衛向上主耶和華禱告祈求生命在世的日子長久多一點，乃因他已接過上主加給精金的冠冕戴在頭上，盼望此美好輝煌的日子更多。特別之處就是上主聽禱告，成就賜予應許的日子，大衛在位正是見證以色列強盛，榮耀耶和華。我們見到大衛的禱告，確切的實現眼前，與神同行，合祂心意是最核心的影響。所以無論求甚麼，總要以愛 神為首，謙卑順服在祂面前。Amen！

Dec 30

「耶和華啊，王必因你的能力歡喜；因你的救恩，他的快樂何其大！」詩篇21：1 詩人大衛為著他作戰勝利而歌頌耶和華，交與負責敬拜的詩班長(伶長)獻頌。大衛王作戰之時一向不靠自己，乃倚靠耶和華的大能，惟有祂賜予亦是那從上而來的力量，才能攻克仇敵；更因著他專心敬畏耶和華，以救恩為樂，再沒有甚麼可以相比。我們在日常生活中遇上不少挑戰困難，靠的是己力，還是所信的 神！活出的是因救恩而大大喜樂！Amen！

Dec 29

「所羅門坐他父親大衛的位，他的國甚是堅固。」列王紀上2：12 一代合 神心意的君王大衛與他列祖同睡，昔日的一切都可以蓋棺定論，但無論如何上主看他的功與過都亦只有祂可以說定。大大衛被揀選、接受命定；奮戰攻克敵人、惡行私慾謀害他人；親近倚靠上主、痛悔罪孽過犯，上主仍是看在眼內，視為合心意的人。所羅門繼位將會比其父大衛更好，其國度更堅穩，活出上主賜予的智慧。我們見到一個人行在 神的心意，定必得著從上而來的厚恩，生命更堅實的成長，榮耀 神！加油，同路人！

Dec 28

「對大衛說：『你比我公義；因為你以善待我，我卻以惡待你。』撒母耳記上24：17 大衛被掃羅三千精兵追殺，苦苦相迫，心裏感到十分難過。在躲藏的洞裏，惜逢一個時機可以將掃羅殺掉，而他仍然認定這是上主耶和華的受膏者，不敢動手害他。至終事情顯露，兩人相對說明心底話，掃羅卻是哭著向大衛道出此話。我們深信跟隨主的人，定必尊重屬主的人，本以謙卑順服的心相待，主是公義的審判者，更是滿有愛的能力。Amen！

Dec 27

「大衛渴想，說：『甚願有人將伯利恆城門旁、井裏的水打來給我喝。』」撒母耳記下23：15 大大衛在其遺言宣讀時，記述曾有三位勇士在亞杜蘭洞見過大衛之後，處在兩軍交鋒之際，如箭在弦。此時，他想到敵陣城中的井水，勇士們二話不說就闖關取水，實熟難得。這些冒死得來的水，就有如勇士的血一般，深深感動大衛，將水奠在上主耶和華面前，殊不簡單。我們遇見敬畏 神的人，就有如碰上 忠誠愛 神的人一樣，一切都存感恩的心獻上。加油，同路人！

Dec 25

因今天在大衛的城裏，為你們生了救主，就是主基督。」路加福音2：11 一個寂靜的夜間，牧羊人得著天使給他們大喜訊，就是在伯利恆又名大衛之城，將要有一位救主降生---耶穌。這就是猶太人期待已久的彌賽亞(Messiah)，祂是祭司、君王和先知集於一身；是 神獨生兒子，祂道成肉身，為的要成就救贖計劃。我們的主耶穌基督正是為你為我預備救恩，得著永生。在歡慶的日子，理當努力傳揚和銘記這愛與被愛的恩典！Amen！

Dec 23

「當保護貧寒和窮乏的人，救他們脫離惡人的手。」詩篇82：4 詩人亞薩歌頌上主，祂是至高的主宰。在此呼籲以色列民要秉行公義，縱使面前那些行惡的人如何無理行事，也不可向他們徇情面。要知道伸手救助那些貧寒和窮乏的人，他們的處境極之艱苦，加上上主素來在大地施行公義和審判，要行出所相信的見證上主的作為。我們活在當下，眼見有需要的人，用腳行出，用手做出，更要用心活出那位普愛世人的主。Amen！

Dec 22

「靠著聖靈，隨時多方禱告祈求；並要在此儆醒不倦，也為眾聖徒祈求。」以弗所書 6：18 保羅向以弗所教會要穿上的全副屬靈軍裝就是要做好一切準備，應付在屬靈爭戰中的的惡魔。因為要得勝一點都不簡單，在披甲上陣之同時，極需要有其他同路人一起肩並肩作戰，為作戰的人禱告就變成最大的後盾。保羅提醒要靠聖靈不住祈禱方能成事，常常保持警覺性是需要的。今天我們在禱告生活中常常以此彼此扶持記念，深信大大得勝的日子不遠已。Amen！

Dec 21

「拿著聖靈的寶劍，就是 神的道。」以弗所書 6：17 b 屬靈全副軍裝最後一件裝備就是手拿著的寶劍。一個軍人在殺敵破陣時，手上的武器是決勝的關鍵，亦是直接抵擋攻擊的還擊器械。這把劍有如軍人的生命一樣，需要不時磨鍊，使其鋒利使用，才能發揮應有的功用。我們能正確使用及操練聖靈賜予的寶劍，就如活潑使用 神的話，取得勝利。讓我們都整裝待發，迎向挑戰， 正如「工欲善其事，必先利其器」，為主打一場精彩的戰事。Amen！

Dec 20

「並帶上救恩的頭盔。」以弗所書 6：17a 第五件屬靈軍裝配備是頭盔。一般軍人在作戰時保護頭部是十分重要的，戴上頭盔免受攻擊，特別在對戰之時，被投擲物或是茅槍衝刺皆可抵禦頭部受傷的機會。頭部代表一切行動指揮的總司令，能適當的保護，自然得勝在望；同樣，以 神的救恩作成事情的保護網，抗衡屬靈爭戰的傷亡。我們穿戴從主賜的裝備，彰顯救恩的奇妙，堅心奮勇迎戰，無懼挑戰。加油，同路人！

Dec 19

「此外，又拿著信德當作籐牌，可以滅盡那惡者一切的火箭。」以弗所書6：16 保羅提到屬靈全副軍裝的第四件，那就是籐牌。一般軍人的配備作戰中籐牌用以抵擋敵人的攻擊，有些來自近距離的利器進攻，更有些是來遠處狙擊施襲，他們利用火箭攻擊，可算是奸險難抗。憑著籐牌全都抵禦奮戰，至終除去來犯的敵人，這樣，持守從主而來的信仰的品格，能勝過那些從近處還是遠處而來的挑戰。我們在生命中建立的屬靈品格，是實實在在堅韌的籐牌，在屬靈爭戰之中是具有進攻能力的武器，走近敵陣中。奮勇加油，同路人！

Dec 18

「又用平安的福音當作預備走路的鞋穿在腳上。」以弗所書6：15 保羅帶出第三件屬靈軍裝的配備--- 一對預備走路的鞋子。穿在腳上的鞋對一位作戰的軍人是特別重要，因為每日行軍作戰都要靠這雙鞋，所到之處皆為爭戰場所，力戰仇敵，讓平安重臨，飽受軟弱受壓的人得釋放。這好比用平安的福音作好準備，隨時去到屬靈爭戰的心臟地帶，叫人得著福音帶來的平安，絕不敢慢下來。我們常常作好福音的鞋子，去到需要的地方，為主作見證，使人歸向 神！Amen！

Dec 16

「所以要站穩了，用真理當作帶子束腰。」以弗所書6：4a 保羅首次使用當時羅馬士兵的配備服飾喻作屬靈爭戰穿戴的軍裝，因為所面對的是非常的戰事，武器就用非常的裝備。首先要用真理束腰，當時的人要工作，要行事，就常以束衣在腰間，做好準備迎接面前的工作；用神的話為作戰的基礎，一切在爭戰當中就穩固了。我們預備好用真理作戰，要為這場屬靈的爭戰奠下基石。加油，同路人！大大的倚靠主！

Dec 15

你們不要倚靠君王，不要倚靠世人，他一點不能幫助」詩篇146：3 詩人歌頌上主的扶助和幫助，一切屬祂的子民都在恩手眷顧下誇勝。他藉此提醒不可倚靠在位的君王，因為眼見即使上主賦予王位的君王，不敬畏祂的也失卻愛 神的心；至於世人也是一樣，當人對人的信靠根本失卻信任與盼望，只會變得徒然。我們對 神的敬畏，正是一切倚靠的基石，絕對沒有任何人可以替代。所以專心行在祂的心意的道路上，自然在任何處境都變得釋然開懷享受生命的厚恩。Amen！

Dec 14

「耶和華有恩惠，有公義；我們的 神以憐憫為懷。」詩篇116：5 詩人頌讚上主在他生命的重要關鍵時刻，每每都得著出死入生的拯救。這厚恩是詩人深深體會的，更見到上主憐憫的心腸，人在急難傷痛之際，總會得見祂的恩手。憐憫的背後是人走在背 神而行的道路，惟有上主彰顯公義的心，但從不計較，仍以恩典施行在其身上，使詩人感恩不住，稱讚 神。我們有時落在軟弱己行的道路，失腳在一念之差， 神仍救助我們免了跌倒，回轉感恩得見祂的憐憫，愛惜每一個歸向祂的人。Amen！

Dec 13

「因為全律法都包在『愛人如己』這一句話之內了。」加拉太書 5：14 保羅向加拉太教會分享自由與枷鎖，要活出自由理當行在愛心互相服侍之中，體驗由內而外得著釋放的心。此外，自由並不是放縱個人己意的機會，帶來別人難以撫平的紛擾，正如保羅提到要愛人如己，一切誡命的總綱，能在主裏使用自由愛人的心，結出從聖靈而生的美善果子。我們能曉得愛人，感受被愛，只要撇開罪的枷鎖，定必享受從 神而生的愛，藉此以生命影響生命，得著真自由。加油，同路人！

Dec 12

「我所賜給以色列人的地，你可以遠遠的觀看，卻不得進去。」申命記 32：52 摩西的最後訓言，特別向以色列民道別，囑咐他們的生命要在過約河的地上為業。但同時上主卻吩咐摩西在尼波山遠眺觀看迦南地，不得進去；亦即是他人生的終結要在此山上，而最大的原因是在以色列人中沒有尊上主為聖。這一切都盡見 神的公義、慈愛、信實和應許，一代領袖上主是看在眼內，念記他的行事作工。我們專心服侍主，尊主為大為聖至為首要，讓我們的生命成就見證主的榮耀！Amen！

Dec 11

「凡牛群羊群中，一切從杖下經過的，每第十隻要歸給耶和華為聖。」利未記27：32 摩西宣告上主的吩咐，在這一切的律例誡命之中要謹守其中。牛群羊群是以色列民生活中的財富，牧養的維生之道，上主要求那些畜牧的人要甘心樂意呈獻，分別為聖，就要在核點數目時以十分一作為定準。我們對 神的回應理當存感恩的心，既是祂向人的意旨，將這愛付以具體行事，更重要的是甘心樂意，才是 神所喜悅的奉獻。願意將我們的才幹、金錢和時間交在恩主手裏，讓祂使用，成為活祭。Amen！

Dec 10

「日後，你們到了耶和華按著所應許賜給你們的那地，就要守這禮。」出埃及記12：25 摩西帶領以色列人經歷第一個逾越節，要做好一切預備功夫一點也不容易，再加上天使越過埃及地的晚上仍堅守遵照吩咐，事就這樣成了。而上主提醒眾人要謹記這日子，特別有一日要踏進應許之鄉---流奶與蜜的迦南美地，仍繼續念記走出為奴之地的木子。我們不得不留心每次當領受主餐的時候，正是謹守昔日逾越節起初就是今天守主餐的根源，記念耶穌流血犧牲的愛。感謝主！Amen！

Dec 9

「亞伯拉罕給那地方起名叫『耶和華以勒』，直到今日人還說：『在耶和華的山上必有預備。』」創世記22：14 上主吩咐亞伯拉罕獻以撒其實是一件極難的信心考驗，既是年事已老得賜的愛子，又要遵照上主命令行事。至終他帶同兒子以撒到山上，當一切準備好，此時他快要手起刀落之際，天使叫停手及吩咐以已預備的公羊替代。耶和華以勒正是上主為人在信心背後的預備，可見亞伯拉罕被稱為信心之父，殊不簡單。我們在擁有的背後，若今天 神要我們捨棄，為預備更好的給予，又會甘心！？Amen！


Dec 8

「恆常忍耐，可以勸動君王；柔和的舌頭，能折斷骨頭。」箴言25：15 所羅門王指出，以一種態度面對事情就能勝過萬千言語，怎麼樣高學才智也改不了態度所帶來的震撼。當面對君王要納諫成功，實非易事，就有如用舌頭折斷一根骨頭，極之困難地近乎無可能。故此，改動王者的心就必須要持恆耐久才使其動容，敞開勸說背後的想法，以謙和的言詞就近他的身邊。我們能以敬畏 神的心去服侍，相信這種態度正是那優勝之道，有如堅城鐵柱，亦會溶解冰河雪山。加油，同路人！

Dec 7

「除去王面前的惡人，國位就靠公義堅立。」箴言25：5 所羅門王從上主領受處世之道，治國之理，若不是敬畏耶和華，即使個人縱有更多的才智都是自作聰明。惟一以敬畏的心，喜愛公義，那位獨一的上主必然替王的國豎立旗幟，飄揚祂的作為；正是將王面前的惡人行事，一掃乾淨，免受虧損。我們堅心靠賴主，就當以祂的愛和公義活出見證，讓生命得見屬 神的光彩！Amen！

Dec 6

「責備人的，後來蒙人喜悅，多於那用舌頭諂媚人的。」箴言28：23 詩人指出義人與惡人的分別，在於能否將敬畏上主的心與品格放在最前端，行事為人都與所得的恩相稱。品格上責備別人看來是負面的事，但只要引導指出重回正軌，悔過更新，相信受責人的定至終得著別人的喜悅。反正，終日只曉得用說話言行來弄假虛偽，搏取利益私慾，這全是惡人的夢魘。我們靠著聖靈行事，用愛心說誠實話，教導人學義，都是滿有益處。加油，同路人！

Dec 5

「她想得田地，就買來；用手所得之利，栽種葡萄園。」箴言31：16 所羅門王論及賢妻，一個丈夫能成為婦人的倚靠，有如勝過手上的珍珠，一切財寶也沒可相比。這婦人的才德智慧實在是上主厚賜的恩，即使她見到可以購置的田地，就以所得的財寶得著買下來，一點也不是僥倖。更甚的是，藉著所得的財利轉作栽植園子，善用上主所賜的智慧。我們面對主的時候，要渴慕成為一位才德智慧的婦人，得主稱讚！Amen！

Dec 3

「尼尼微人信服 神，便宣告禁食，從最大的到至小的都穿麻衣。」約拿書3：5 先知約拿隨著上主的吩咐作出宣告，尼尼微城若不悔改，必然全城傾覆。本是以色列人的仇敵，且十分兇殘，實在難以想像上主差派先知勸導歸降，相信約拿甚或其他人都會視為例行公事，此城定必滅亡。出乎意料之外，上至君王，下至平民皆樂意回轉，禁食、蒙灰、穿麻衣等懊悔行動，最終感動上主，逃過一劫。我們眼看一些人根本很難知道會否悔改信主，惟有靠主的名傳這福音信息，而成就在於聖靈感動人心，事就這樣成了。加油，同路人！

Dec 2

「你們要小心，不要失去你們所作的工，乃要得著滿足的賞賜。」約翰二書8 使徒約翰分享從 神而來的信息，特別要將真理和從前所領受的愛行在信徒中間。主耶穌吩咐門徒的命令--彼此相愛，但要切切的謹慎將所看見所聽見當行的，免得在群體中被他人誘導而離開主。特此，約翰提醒要格外留心，因為以愛所建造的關係，一點也來得不易，箇中的喜樂促使彼此得著滿足。我們要善用從主所領受的一切，並分辨屬乎主的道理，將真理和愛實踐在生活中，榮 神益人。Amen！


Dec 1

「耶穌哭了。」約翰福音11：35 拉撒路死了四天，耶穌早前已向其家人宣稱：「他必然復活。」。但馬大心裏嘆息耶穌早一些到來，其兄可以不死，卻又矛盾知曉，向主求甚麼，神必賜給人。耶穌見到她們和喜愛挑釁的猶太人，望著拉撒路的遺體就哭了。耶穌嘆息這些人信心小，對 神諸多疑慮，最終耶穌大聲呼叫他起來，事就這樣成了。我們能活出堅定靠主的心，非要 神事事作出連番保證又保證，只要找緊祂的應許，因為我們所信的是信實的主！Amen！

Nov 30

「順著情慾撒種的，必從情慾收敗壞；順著聖靈撒種的，必從聖靈收永生。」加拉太書6：8 保羅向加拉太教會勉勵各人的重擔要互相擔當，以一個受教的心行事為人。每當倚仗來自老我的品格，處事方式，相信之後所得來的壞果子必呈現眼前。但另一面卻截然不同，因為靠賴聖靈播傳種子，總是照著祂的意思而行，到那日便要結出從靈裏所出生命的應許，一點也不虛假。我們在主裏，天天更新生命，活出屬 神的品格與愛心，深信即使我們不發一言，別人也認出是主的門徒。Amen！

Nov 29

「我要將他們栽於本地，他們不再從我所賜給他們的地上拔出來。」阿摩司書9：15 阿摩司先知宣示上主的話，以色列的復興到來的那日子，從被擄之地回歸故土。在荒涼之地重修城邑家園，是一件極具艱辛耐久必行的大事，定必見到遍地美果。上主更應許賜予國民以栽植喻作根深入土，成長結出豐盛的果子，往後在這地土扎根不再被拔出。我們盼望生命植根在主裏，吸收更多從上而來的智慧和厚恩，得以茁壯成長榮耀賜恩的主！Amen！

Nov 28

「要尋求耶和華與他的能力，時常尋求他的面。」歷代志上16：11大衛與一班利末人和祭司一起歌頌上主，將約櫃入耶路撒冷，在他的歌聲中呼籲努力尋求上主。因為有約櫃所在，正是上主同在的明證，禱告得著能力，建立滿有從上而來的讚頌，得力服侍上主。按著大衛的深情表達，就是要持續而不斷的尋求，恆切禱告，免得遠離上主的心意，反倒，能帶著能力禱告尋求，生命充滿歡欣，雀躍如動兔奔跑。試問我們時常禱告到主前，不應是一件苦差，而是令生命喜悅，得力女湧泉一樣。加油，同路人！

Nov 27

「因為人所作的事，連一切隱藏的事，無論是善是惡， 神都必審問。」傳道書12：14 此書卷的經節最後一節再一次提醒讀者，敬畏上主，謹守誡命是當盡的本份。雖然在世的事情是勞碌不已，但總有些是出於美善的心，使別人得福；或是只為己意私心，甚至傷害他人，落在虛空之中。原來在上主的眼底下，有一日我們都要被過問，定必細察所行所言，免得虧負祂的恩。全知全能的 神鑒察我們的生活，行事為人需要儆醒忠誠的見證 神。Amen！

Nov 26

「貧窮而有智慧的少年人，勝過年老不肯納諫的愚昧王。」傳道書4：13 一句說話合宜而配置得美好所見到的益處還多，誠如箴言書『金蘋果在銀網子裏』。傳道者見到少年人與年長的王的對比，出身貧乏與擁有萬千財富；滿有敬畏上主的智慧與只喜愛美言不接納勸諫的愚昧態度。後者正是人生任憑自我己意的捕風，結果只是勞碌，也是虛空。反倒，我們以敬畏 神得智慧，行事忠誠愛主，不論我們的年紀如何，也立時變為滿有聰明智慧的少年人。Amen！

Nov 25

「撕裂有時，縫補有時；靜默有時，言語有時。」傳道書3：7 傳道者對於生命的勞碌從生活中的另一面看到撕裂與縫補。每當衣物無法承作應有的，撕裂的現象就出現，或是被強力掙開都會這樣，相反因破舊需作縫補，好讓在撕開之處整合與修補。靜心默然反思等候上主的話，或以說話表明所行處事，似乎在人生是勞碌不已的事實。我們體驗生活中的平凡事，即使勞碌，神亦在背後導引，行在祂的心意的大道上。Amen！

Nov 24

「殺戮有時，醫治有時；拆毀有時，建造有時。」傳道書3：3 傳道者領受到人生在世經歷轉變的同時，民與民之間，國與國之間出現大小不同的戰亂爭奪，眼見撕殺背後都是人性的惡行。反倒有如鐘擺在另一邊，就是醫治療傷得著安慰，人心靈減去半點仇恨，生命活得更美好，豈不是日光之下的勞碌。同樣，拆毀昔日舊有與建造新有的皆是互為交織不斷的勞碌，無人可以免去不受影響。當我們認識這位至善的主，心存謙卑，深信走過的一生皆留下無數屬 神的印記。Amen！

Nov 23

「尋找有時，失落有時；保守有時，捨棄有時。」傳道書3：6 傳道者指出人生的無常，經常游走於事情或是處境的兩極之中，勞勞碌碌頻繁不已。當花上畢生精力尋尋覓覓，看來已在手中找得，卻又會在轉瞬間失落於無形之間，回到起點。或是自己使用各種方法保存所有的，免得錯失美好的擁有，在緊繃的心裏面，片刻間又變得鬆綁解開，甘心捨棄。我們在生命中最珍貴的莫過於找到愛我們的主，祂應許用永遠的愛愛我們，捨棄舊我，竭力保守我們的心。Amen！

Nov 22

「哭有時，笑有時；哀慟有時，跳舞有時。」傳道書3：4 萬事有其定律，自然生生不息，背後來自上主所按時出現與轉向。在悲哀流淚的經歷中，人會感到愁苦難過是認真的表達，正好與歡笑剛剛相反，人落在喜悅暢快的境況，笑聲滿載，乃人生樂事。相信這位傳道者是體驗人生的正反兩面的實況，不然，大哀與大喜全是筆下的虛言，在此能以敬畏這位創造的主為首，人生就變得盼望在永恆的同時，又享受活在當下的日子。我們與哀哭的人同哀哭，與喜樂的人同喜樂，一起挽手走上這路程。加油！

Nov 21

「人在日光之下勞碌累心，在他一切的勞碌上得著甚麼呢？」傳道書2：22 傳道書作者觀看世人所行的事，在生活中只是忙於勞碌不斷作工只為糊口。人若用智慧、知識、靈巧所勞碌得來，當然亦會截然不同，因為能以敬畏上主的心享受這一切，喜樂的顏容定會展現。惟獨還未認識上主的人，心裏疲憊，累得不知忙忙碌碌是為何？我們藉此經節得悉日光之下無新事，信靠豐盛的主，把握珍惜在世的日子，得享辛勞的甜美成果。Amen！

Nov 20

「我見日光之下、有一件禍患、似乎出於掌權的錯誤、就是愚昧人立在高位；富足人坐在低位。」傳道書10：5-6 詩人指出一點愚昧也能敗壞智慧和尊榮。原本因著智慧使多人得福，乃來自敬畏上主的心；一切受人尊崇，得著從上而來的光彩。這正是反映出那些自作聰明的人竟然立在權勢之處，勢必倒下散亂在下面的原處；那麼，擁有真正人生富足的，即使身處在低層，仍能因著智慧和尊榮必在高位。我們在生活中只要懂得跟隨主，自然流露出愛的感染力，散發基督的香氣，叫一切敬畏主的都要成為百份百富足的人。Amen！

Nov 19

「我們若把嚼環放在馬嘴裏，叫牠順服，就能調動牠的全身。」雅各書3：3 雅各書的作者提醒收看信件的信徒要好好善用舌頭，因為認認真真使用口所出的一言一語，免得落在苦毒和咒詛的試探之中。在此特別以嚼環控制馬兒，促使能聽命於控制者，箇中得以順服，不然四處亂跑定必闖出禍來。一個人能透過口所出讚頌，或是惡言都是從心出發，當心裏有 神的誡命---盡上一切愛主，與及愛人如己的心，這人就順服從心所講說的每一句話。我們要成為別人的祝福，口出造就別人的流通管子，榮耀 神！Amen！

Nov 18

「凡事受了責備，就被光顯明出來，因為一切能顯明的就是光。」以弗所書5：13 保羅指出光的效能就是在所到之處，一切黑暗與污垢全都要顯露出來。正如對以弗所的信徒勉勵，生活樣式要展現像光明之子，光來到就是照耀全地。當聖靈在我們所思所行，甚至所講的事上都會如光的照明，正當與邪惡；真誠與虛假；公義與私慾；愛心與嫉妒，這一切都無從隱藏。我們就更當行事為人靠著那加給我力量的，凡事都能作。Amen！

Nov 17

「正直人的道是遠離惡事﹔謹守己路的，是保全性命。」箴言16﹕17 在敬畏上主的人所行所言的都不會馬馬虎虎就了事，而是認認真真行事為人。此經節叫我們注視那些惡行的事情，總要遠離，因為凡愛慕上主的人，必定正直行事，作無愧的子民。當中若不是謹守走在上主的道路上，失腳跌倒會是隨時發生，更甚的是，或會性命不保。試問以正直行事，敬畏上主，還有其麼可以替代呢﹗﹖我們以單一信靠的心跟隨主，按祂的吩咐行事為人，定必榮耀見證 神﹗Amen﹗


Nov 16

得智慧勝似金子，選聰明強如選銀子。」箴言16﹕16 所羅門指出智慧人能活出智慧的生活，始終徵結落在人要如何以敬畏上主的心來面對。金子在世人眼底下是貴重精純的財寶，這好比得著上好的禮物---智慧人生。而選定銀子都如精煉的瑰寶，聰明的心，更將這屬於上主所賜的悟性活現光彩。我們得著智慧聰明並非偶然，而是對 神的敬畏，忠誠與祂連結一起，生命就有如拿著世人都視為無價珍寶一樣的金銀財寶。Amen﹗

Nov 15

「光明所結的果子，就是一切良善、公義、誠實。」以弗所書5：9 保羅提醒弟兄姊妹行事為人要活出像光明的子女，不可將那些虛浮自欺的事，當作為可行的事。正是在光明之下能盡見所有，半點遮掩也難逃躲避，定必結出美善的品格---良善、公義、誠實。我們所深愛的主為要使祂的兒女，能將生命具體的活潑流動在愛中有良善，處事公義不畏懼，正直待人活現真誠實，叫人認清我們所綻放的全屬於主的光彩，我們才配得上稱為光明之子。Amen！


Nov 14

「生氣卻不要犯罪；不可含怒到日落。」以弗所書4：36 保羅對於以弗所教會的信徒指出，一種新生活的態度，要小心將舊有的我捨棄，穿上新造的樣式。當以儆醒的心在言語說話上使人和睦，除去一切沒有造就的言語。即使面對在怒氣之下，亦要格外留意，免得落在罪的網羅中纏繞不息，失去見證，就算發怒亦不可帶著到明天，擦掉在心裏的恨。我們常常會遇上生活與信仰的沖擊，好好以 神的話活在當下，靠著聖靈行事。Amen！

Nov 13

「為非作歹的，被義人憎嫌；行事正直的，被惡人憎惡。」箴言29：27 箴言最使人津津樂道的地方，就是將生活中該說的就說，該行的就行，完全表達世人處世之道，但箇中加入敬畏上主而來的智慧，那麼就顯然不一樣。義人毫不喜悅作不義行惡的人 ，心中只有對此等人生厭；反正一個為人行事以心存敬畏上主的態度的人，卻換來那些惡人憎恨。這樣看來還是以敬畏上主為不二之選。我們身體力行將屬 神的智慧行在生活中，無論有多少人口吐惡言，也不及從主恩典活流出來的喜樂。主啊，我愛慕你的話！Amen！

Nov 12


「在他的日子，義人要發旺，大有平安，好像月亮長存。」詩篇72：7 詩人所羅門要為王禱告，在他所看見，所經歷的都盼望上主施恩憐憫。他見到上主對著困苦窮乏，得憐恤的人，正當身處性命危難之際，上主按公義結出果子，使他們被搭救，脫離欺壓和暴風。這些人在經歷中得著平安，是深度得安慰，更是長久得享上主所賜的平安。我們即使落在危難之時， 神定必彰顯公義，拯救受壓制的，賜予我們出人意外的平安！Amen！

Nov 11

「惟獨他是我的磐石，我的拯救；他是我的高臺，我必不動搖。」詩篇62：6 大衛怎樣形容這位獨一的上主，祂是堅固的磐石，即使遇上大水翻騰，仍穩重堅定不被移動；祂有如更是一位大能的拯救者，好比要隨時候命作準備救人於危難，脫離險峻境地。上主有如豎立在大地上的高臺，一切要來攻擊的仇敵全都無功而回，祂絲毫不被推倒這臺，正是迄立高處讓人得以平安遠眺，親身靠近主。我們信賴這位 神，就要一心一意的去行，祂必保守，並賜予出人意外的平安。Amen！

Nov 10

「我的心哪，你當默默無聲，專等候 神，因為我的盼望是從他而來。」詩篇62：5 詩人大衛在禱告中得著從上主而來的體會，就是在一切心煩意亂底下找得安處之道，倚靠那位有如磐石，高臺的拯救者。他別無神奇幻法，只是專注在上主身上，靜靜地默想禱告，替代凡此種種憂慮惶恐的事，更重要的是明白一切盼望源頭在上主手中，安慰得穩妥。我們在日常生活中，壓力煩憂事情繞著心間，恕不容易解開，惟有以 神的話默念，安靜等候，深信要尋求的定必尋見。加油！同路人。

Nov 9

「懼怕人的，陷入網羅；惟有倚靠耶和華的必得安穩。」箴言29：25 箴言書吸引之處在於比世人的格言還要有智慧。此經節所指，當一個人因怯懼人的威權恐嚇下，懾於那些仗著勢力欺壓他人，人亦只能墮進所設的網羅裏。當然景況是一種強勢壓制，但物極必反，那張力自然擴展伸延，惡者定必不安；但詩人的智慧就是倚靠上主才是真正經歷安穩，裏面是滿有自由與平安。我們相信相信 神是智慧的啟迪，只有更安穩在祂的懷抱中得享甘甜。同路人，盡心的享受這大愛！Amen！

Nov 8

「凡我所吩咐的，你們都要謹守遵行，不可加添，也不可刪減。」申命記12：32 摩西重申律例誡命給那些在曠野出生的新一代，特別勸導不可拜偶像，要在敬拜獨一的上主場所別再心有二意。因為在上主眼裏敬拜 神與事奉 神根本無分別，同出一轍，若是不聽從嚴肅地謹守所吩咐的，就輕忽了尊崇的心；又或是妄自添加一些自以為義的事物，徒添人為色彩，全都看不到上主。我們敬畏 神，只需要簡單直接來到祂面前，心存謙卑，以 神話語為本，增添十分的愛意！Amen！


Nov 7

「他要按公義審判世界，按正直判斷萬民。」詩篇9：8 詩人大衛稱頌上主的公義彰顯於地上，因為他面對窮追猛打的仇敵，祂仍以坐著為王的姿態嚴正在其中。上主以公義作為對世上的裁決，秉持對罪背後的那惡者絕對的不妥協；又將人所行的己路，以其有否出自正直不歪為準，上主會看在眼內。我們還看世人以自義為一切道德標準的良心，目空別人的需要，錯亂標準價值，有如兇猛的攻擊者侵襲，深信 公義的主定必在我們所處的景況下保守眷顧屬祂的人。Amen！

Nov 6

當孝敬父母，使你的日子，在耶和華你 神所賜你的地上，得以長久。」出埃及記20：12 摩西首度向以色列民宣佈十誡，上主為要他們按著所吩咐的走在敬畏上主的道路上。這是第五條誡命，焦點放在家中的父母，以孝敬為行道為先；此話亦是一條帶應許的誡命，凡遵從者在地上的日子定必長久。我們活在世上，父母恩情是無可置疑的，何況主的話早已提醒作子女當雙親還在，就當孝敬，特別他倆還未認識主，我們就理應比其他人更迫切掛念這需要。Amen！

Nov 5

「若是能行，總要盡力與眾人和睦。」羅馬書12：18 保羅向羅馬教會作出一些教導，信徒在生活中要將品格活流出來，其中一件事就是學習付上可以做的，作出最大的努力完成---使人與人得以和睦相處。保羅深信這事情不是容易的，在人與人之間會經常要面對，特別信主的人，常以作光作鹽的身份進入人群，故此，要嘗試一切可行的方法砌併一幅和睦的圖畫。我們能用心盡力活出生命的見證，定必令人見到我們，一眼就認出我們就是主的門徒。Amen！！

Nov 4, 2013

「耶和華遠離惡人，卻聽義人的禱告。」箴言15：29 詩人將此句真實而帶著應許的話宣告，以色列人所相信獨一的 神是恨惡罪，一點也不容許它就近。上主呼籲那作義人的，要遠離惡人越遠越好，聖潔的心與此正是一個迎面的對比，反觀聽從上主的話，這人所發出的禱告，卻得著上主垂聽。我們都知要離惡行在義人的道路上， 神也只喜悅那些愛慕及禱告祂向的人，儘管如何，以謙卑順服就近到主前。Amen！


11月 3 日

「你們當倚靠耶和華直到永遠，因為耶和華是永久的磐石。」以賽亞書26﹕4 以賽亞先知藉著詩歌勸勉國民專心倚靠上主，當大家活在堅固的城，救恩定必成為他們穩當的基石，一點也不動搖。正因如此，先知提醒眾人應以持績而不斷的去行，直到走完人生的路程，理由是在於上主本身是自有永有，長遠活着，誠如一座永久的磐石，迄立長存。我們能跟隨一位永活的真 神，不單是福氣，是祂賜予厚恩大愛，具體的進到我們生命裏面，領受主賜豐盛的生命。Amen﹗


Nov 2,  2013

「二人若不同心，豈能同行呢？」阿摩司書3：3 阿摩司先知深情地傾吐上主的心意，祂揀選以色列人是無人不知，但他們面對自己的罪孽，卻不能視而不見。兩個人要同行又兼得步履一致，其心思意念作相互的配合方能成事，否則必翻滾在地上，拖累著身旁的同伴。上主深信祂的子民若不悔罪回轉，難以同心同行這美善的聖潔大道之上。我們跟隨主，就必定要常作好與 神同行的準備，心思意念都專注在主自己身上，免得跑得快過主，亦避免遠遠的墜後。Amen！

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Stand up for Yourself during the Presence of Relationship Predators with Anti-Social Personality Disorder

Relationship Predators with anti-social personality disorder is a natural threat for women with Autism because predators always look for an easy target.  Predators will generally have a history of conduct disorder as a teenager and extremely keen on observation, which means they can easily spot out the ASD traits in a large group of people.

Predators usually target Aspies and try to take advantage of their low self-esteem, deep insecurities, 內弱 and weak in social support.   Anti-social predators will make use of peer pressure, misunderstanding, false rumors to put down their targets, so as to force their target to be submissive to their predators because of peer pressure or feeling intimidated by the threat created by the predators.

Therefore, it is important for Aspies to stay with a healthy and positive peer group and boldly stand up for themselves during this kind of situation.  If the predators spread false rumors about you and in order to threaten to ruin your reputation, you need to have faith in yourself that you've done nothing wrong to trigger the misunderstanding from your peer group, clarify with the trusted group members on appropriate situations and it is solely the predators' trick trying to threaten you.


From Kam Leung:

「懼怕人的，陷入網羅；惟有倚靠耶和華的必得安穩。」箴言29：25
"箴言書吸引之處在於比世人的格言還要有智慧。此經節所指，當一個人因怯懼人的威權恐嚇下，懾於那些仗著勢力欺壓他人，人亦只能墮進所設的網羅裏。當然景況是一種強勢壓制，但物極必反，那張力自然擴展伸延，惡者定必不安；但詩人的智慧就是倚靠上才是真正經歷安穩，裏面是滿有自由與平安。我們相信相信 神是智慧的啟迪，只有更安穩在祂的懷抱中得享甘甜。同路人，盡心的享受這大愛！"


Recognisable traits of predators:


強詞奪理、顛倒是非、企圖擾亂羣眾的視聽，嚴重違反弟兄姊妹之間的誠信, 令受害人身心受煎熬及事件對她有負面影響

「他口中的言語、起頭是愚昧．他話的末尾、是奸惡的狂妄。」傳道書 10 : 9

「義人的嘴、能令人喜悅．惡人的口、說乖謬的話。」Proverb 10

「鴕鳥的翅膀歡然搧展、豈是顯慈愛的翎毛和羽毛麼。因他把蛋留在地上、在塵土中、使得溫暖．卻想不到被腳踹碎、或被野獸踐踏。他忍心待雛、似乎不是自己的．雖然徒受勞苦、也不為雛懼怕．因為　神使他沒有智慧、也未將悟性賜給他。他幾時挺身展開翅膀、就嗤笑馬和騎馬的人。」約伯記 39 : 13-17


Despite that the target feels quite angry over the predators annoying her, the law gives us guideline on whether the evil predators deserve punishment or not.

The law for prosecuting the predators depends on their conditions:

Not guilty by reason of insanity.  (因精神錯亂而無罪)
When  an act is done by a feeble-minded person, the punishment may be reduced.  (減責神志失常)

(The purpose driven life)
"Jesus gave the church a simple three-step process: "If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him -- work it out between the two of you.  If he listens, you've made a friend.  If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again.  If he still won't listen, tell the church."

What should you do if the person is still stuck in stubbornness? Jesus says to take it to the church.  If the person still refuses to listen after that, you should treat that person like an unbeliever.

The bible gives pastors very specific instructions on how to deal with relationship predators.  Predators should be removed from church if they ignore two warnings."

Titus 3:2
Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.
You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.


提多書 3 :10-11
分門結黨的人、警戒過一兩次、就要棄絕他．因為知道這等人已經背道、犯了罪、自己明知不是、還是去作。

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Aspie Discussion on Bullying and the Importance of forming a bodyguard system within the classroom

Bullying is very common for kids with ASD.  It is very important that parents work with professionals and teachers to work out on a bodyguard system (they are protected by more positive peers) such that the vulnerable kid won't become the easy target.

Tony Attwood wrote, " One of the problems with a prevention program that relies primarily on staff surveillance is that acts of bullying are usually covert, with only around 15 percent of such actions observed by a teacher in the classroom and only 5 percent in the playground (Pepler and Craig 1999).  However, other children often witness acts of buyllying and they will need to be key participants in the program.


Shared from an Aspie:

by momsparky Monday, April 16 

“One of the problems I have with the current anti-bullying campaign is that bullying is only rarely as simple as aggressor vs victim. Most often, bullying is an entire system of behavior, with everyone: victim, bully, bystanders, playing a role. This is not to say that the victims are at fault, but it is to say that isolating the bully as the problem - or, even, isolating the bystanders as is happening lately - will change the system. More than likely, what happens is new victims, new bullies and new bystanders step into the same roles. I believe that I was bullied because the other kids had no tools with which to handle me. I was very literal, and they thought the frequent miscommunication this caused were deliberate. I was very rules-bound, and they thought (legitimately) I was a rat. I'd miss cues from them: cues for friendship, cues that I'd bored them, cues that I was supposed to reciprocate a compliment - and they thought I was stuck-up, inane and cruel. I'm an adult now, and I realize that those girls were not inherently evil: they've grown up to be contributing members of society and probably have no idea how much they hurt me. Kids have to learn the skills of handling conflict, even when the conflict isn't direct: they have to be taught appropriate ways of dealing with people who bother them. This goes for bully, victim and bystander. We tell kids all the time to be tolerant, but we don't tell them how. While there is no excuse for those girls tormenting me the way they did, it was an expression of their frustration that's common with kids who lack these skills. Today, in an ideal world, I might have received pragmatic speech lessons or social skills classes. A teacher might have stepped in and helped us negotiate the missed cues. Maybe there would have been a disability/difference program for the whole school to help kids understand what was going on. Those girls might have been taught to expect odd behavior from me, and to understand that my intentions were harmless. I hope that the kids that come after us get these desperately needed resources: the victims aren't the only ones who are hurt by bullying.”



Proverbs 18:10
The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

耶和華的名，是堅固臺；義人奔入，便得安穩。」箴言18：10

Zechariah 9: 8
But I will defend my house against marauding forces. Never again will an oppressor overrun my people, for now I am keeping watch.

「我必在我家的四圍安營，使敵軍不得任意往來，暴虐的人也不再經過，因為我親眼看顧我的家。」撒迦利亞書9：8 上主藉著先知撒迦利亞在末後的日子宣告施行審判萬邦列國，這一切都要在祂的心意之中，並眷顧屬祂的子民。惟有那掌管萬事的 神差派屬祂的天使天軍守護四圍，任何企圖攻擊或是肆意破壞者全都被驅趕，不得逗留半刻，背後定意在於這位愛以色列民獨一的主。我們同樣深得這位大能的 神保守恩待，就算四面楚歌，也不被打倒，直到走完人生的路程。

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Aspie Discussion: Association Mind - the internal whiteBoard, Being Too Serious on oneself

Question:


Someone tell me that it's normal to return to the stuff you fear when you're anxious, because I clicked on a link to we3 through twitter last night and now I feel like a mental masochist.   is it OCD, pure O or something else?

Reply from OctoberTiger
Okay, I think that talking about WHY this is happening or if you are beating yourself up isn't necessarily going to help you out. I think you need a quick solution - understanding can come later, if you wish.

So, what to do?

I'm thinking NLP on this one - the cartoon is occuping a place in your 'internal whiteboard' that is big, colourful and involves movement.

Pretend you've got a big internal movie screen - where abouts on it would the image be? How close/far away? Colous? etc.

What I would do - I would move your image into another location (usually I find bottom right/top right in people), mess up the colours, make it smaller, send it off into outer space. Imagine it shattering like a pane of glass. Whatever it takes! If it has sounds and noises, really mess them up, too.

Notice how your feelings change. Rinse and repeat until it means as much to you as some random event when you were 6 that you can barely recall now.

Have a go with this, if you will - the results can be very satisfying. And, I think it's good when people find a way to control their minds, rather than have their minds control them.

I'm going to watch this we3, myself.


It's defined as a compulsion due to your prior intentions to get it out of your head, you could say you're obsessed with it but I'm willing to bet there's something in your life that takes more or your attention than a comic. I'm not qualified to say one way or another if you have OCD, but all I'm officially diagnosed with is HFA and I use the same technique octobertiger suggested to break unwanted associations in my perception. When you envision something that's not helpful for you, there's simply no banishing the effects, it's infinitely more productive to modify them.
_________________
Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds.
-Georges Lemaitre
Hummingbird

I hate having asperger syndrome! It's like it makes everything worse! I am so ready to see a therapist, I can't do this by myself. (cries hard) I want the bad thoughts to go away! I am so glad to be here with so many understanding people! It's just so comforting to know that I'm not alone and that there are others like me who have been through this.

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From OctoberTiger on Too serious:


You're so brittle a little breeze would blow you over. You're doing what you did the other day - taking little things and making them personal. Now, how are you ever going to survive in a relationship like that? You wouldn't last ten minutes. 


It seems your answer to everything is just to kick yourself harder. And it seems you use your intelligence against yourself, that must hurt. 

There are no winners and losers here. It's not about that. Forget about me - whatever, I don't exist. If you're comment involves me and free rent - forget it, I don't work that way. 

Fact - something tiny wound you up. You went silly, and now you're kicking yourself. Break the pattern. No highs, no lows - just a flat line. Like those doctors in the emergency ward. 

The anger has nothing to do with me, or this non-event. It's residue from your past. It's none of my business. Carry it around with you, or drop it in a bin. Choice is yours.

From Punkguy378:
I am just pissed because it seems someone did not like my comment. Not great idea or nothing just "keep your geekiness to yourself" What a nice comment that is. 

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This post of yours - I think you could save yourself a lot of time if you printed it out, and used it to guide you. It's basically the whole core pattern you're sticking to, and what feeds your meltdowns. I think it's very honest. 

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I just love how people take no accountability for what they did. I did.

And me kicking myself you think its easy when you have low self esteem. I wish I could be rid of it by 'throwing it in a bin".

I have had a lifetime of bs rain down on me like napalm. It gets in soaks everything up and continues to burn. I mean that might as well be what it feels like. You don't know pain.

I just get fed up with it. If you knew what I meant you would understand. 

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From OctoberTiger on Too serious:
This isn't about anyone else but you. The moment you chose to explode over an innocuous comment, made by someone who had just posted something very geeky - you chose to make it about you. Not me. 

Now you're back in the deinal stage. This is like the depressive self-hatred cycle on accelerated speed. 

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