Aspie Sharing: Imposing view on others

octobertiger wrote:
Well a couple of weeks ago, I made a post and you said that I was too intent on imposing my world view on others - and you were right. I never thanked you for that.

Reply:
I guess depends on the person. I usually prefer people to impose their view on me if they think what I think is not completely true. Because that can expand my mind. Sometimes, I am so obsessive with my thoughts that it takes a lot of imposing in order for me to see other perspective and I appreciate people go extra miles to do that to correct me. Unfortunately, I also agree with Leafplant that 99% people don't like to be imposed and helped. It actually improves our relationship with people if we stop ourselves trying to help people with our good intention. I found that our mind are very rigid and narrow compared to NT, so most of time our comments will not be well received and people think we are attacking/criticise/push them, while we have every good intention to try to help. This leads to our rejection from others and our disappointment for our own good effort. I guess these failures are due to my expectation people will be willing to listen to others' input same as me, while the truth is the opposite. So due to my lack of empathy, I always stumble on situations like that.

Recognise turnoff signal:
My son has AS. A big thing for him is how to recognize when people are interested in what you are saying or are bored. He can go on and on about one subject whether people care about it or not. Also if someone tries to change the subject, he goes right back to what he was talking about. If she has this problem, tell her to look for cues. A sign of bordem might be looking away , changing the topic, yawning, etc. Tell her to make sure to listen to what people are saying and try to stay on that topic for a while. Tell her to make sure she doesn't dominate the conversation. Also role play with her on how to start conversations with people. Teach her to look for something they have in common and start with that. It is obvious to NTs but not to people with AS. My son is much younger so this may not apply but in his case, he has to be careful about only wanting to do activities that he likes all the time. He doesn't take into account what his friends like to do too.
Also, they don't always know about personal space. I tell my son to imagine the other person with a hula hoop around them. He is to stay that far out from them. I'm sure there are more things you can do to help. Try researching on-line or in the library for ideas.