Female Asperger Traits

The original appears in help4aspergers, a website maintained by author Rudy Simone. Rudy, if you are reading this, I hope you don’t mind me reprinting the lists here.

Appearance / Personal Habits:
Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues & practicality.
Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be ‘wash and wear’. Can be quite happy not grooming at all at times.
Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance.
Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes.
Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than male counterparts.
May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance. Thinks of herself as half-male / half-female.
Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often scifi, fantasy, children’s, can have favorites which are a refuge.
Uses control as a stress management technique: rules, discipline, rigid in certain habits, which will contradict her seeming unconventionality.
Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environments.

Intellectual / Giftedness / Education / Vocation:
May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger’s when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive, etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits e.g. poor sense of direction.
May have a savant skill or strong talent.
May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers may gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology.
May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well.
May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees.
Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly.
Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting.
Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.
Will not do well with verbal instruction — needs to write down or draw diagram.
Will have obsessions but they are not as unusual as her male counterpart’s (less likely to be a ‘train-spotter’).
Emotional / Physical:

Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.
Anxiety and fear are predominant emotions.
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS.
Strong sensory issues — sounds, sights, smells, touch, and prone to overload. (Less likely to have taste / food texture issues as males.)
Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bi-polar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism / AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed.
Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions.
9 out of 10 have mild to severe gastro-intestinal difficulties — eg, ulcers, acid reflux, IBS, etc.
Stims to soothe when sad or agitated: rocking, face-rubbing, humming, finger flicking, leg bouncing, finger or foot-tapping, etc.
Similarly physical when happy: hand flapping, clapping, singing, jumping, running around, dancing, bouncing.
Prone to temper, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.
Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage.
Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, esp. after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than male counterparts but may have a raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad.

Social / Relationships:
Words and actions are often misunderstood by others.
Perceived to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly.
Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions / obsessive interests.
Can be very shy or mute.
Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a ‘performance’.
Doesn’t go out much.
Will not have many girlfriends and will not do ‘girly’ things like shopping with them or have get-togethers to ‘hang out’.
Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached.
May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously, but she may choose to remain celibate or alone.
If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempts to let him know, e.g. she may stare when she sees him or call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn’t understand societal gender roles. This will change with maturity.
Often prefers the company of animals but not always due to sensory issues.
Summary of Some Main Female / Male AS Differences:

Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than male counterparts.
Better at mirroring than males and so may mirror many different types of personalities. Hence females may not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon-like, especially before diagnosis.
Will have obsessions but they are not as abstruse or unusual as her male counterpart’s and tend to be more practical (eg, less likely to be a ‘trainspotter’).
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS.
Less likely to receive early, correct diagnosis because the criteria is based on male behaviors / traits. (Hans AS studied males only.) More likely to be diagnosed as bi-polar or manic-depressive (common co-morbids of autism / AS).
Physical gestures / behaviors when happy more expressive than males: hand flapping, clapping, singing, jumping up and down, running around, dancing, bouncing — this pertains to adult women as well as girls.
Adult females are prone to both temper, even in public, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload. Hunger / food issues seem to be a common trigger.
Tends to receive less tolerance and more expectation from others, because she appears more adept.
Hate injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage meltdowns.
Less likely to stutter than male counterparts when stressed or upset; both may have raspy, choked or monotone voice or suffer mutism.
Females are generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a ‘performance’. Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded.